QUOTES FROM MY PORCH ON A FRIDAY

  1. Are turtles very muscular?
  2. Welcome to the wicker liquor store where all our liquor is in wicker baskets
  3. In an alternate universe everyone is doing finger guns
  4. What was I gonna say?.... oh yeah, how do you guys feel about scabs?
  5. On the count of 3 name your childhood bullies. 1..2..3 go
  6. Don't look at your phone or I will thrust
  7. I feel like I'm on a little farm
  8. You sounded like zaboomafoo for like .5 seconds
  9. In an alternate universe all these playing cards are tiny rugs