1. Not a quote, but was woken up aggressively this morning by my dad watching "peanut butter jelly time" on YouTube.
  2. "Good jokes by me™"
    Kipp trying to brand his jokes.
  3. "What if a bear just got into the hot tub right now?"
    My mom.
  4. "Good morning!"
    My brother, to a random woman passing by, at 4 in the afternoon. She said "morning" back and then recoiled and my brother laughed.
  5. "No, I'm not going to ask them to re-make my ice cream soda just because they put in chocolate instead of chocolate chip. That's so much work for them."
    Not humorous, just my mom being an awesome human being who respects the struggles of working in the service industry.