Advice articles I am actually qualified to write

ok advice-ish (inspired by @ShawnKelly bc i don't know how to come up with original list ideas)
  1. A Lazy Girl's Guide to Weight Loss: How to Sustain Yourself Entirely on 100 Unrequited Crushes a Day
  2. What to Do When No One Will Let You Forget Your High School Haircut
  3. I Accidentally Cosplayed as Professor Trelawney for 6 Years and This is What it Taught Me
  4. A Lesson in Letting Go: How to Cope With the Realization That Your Grandparents Still Remember Your Scene Phase
  5. Chicken Nuggets for Breakfast: A Step-by-Step Guide in Maintaining a Modest Amount of Chub
    the antithesis to my first article
  6. An Open Letter to College Introverts: Why It's Okay to Eat Full Meals in The Shower
  7. Relationship Advice: How to Turn the Constant Howl of Restless Ghosts Escaping Your Stomach Into an Endearing Quirk
  8. Hufflepuff-Inspired Sex Tips That Will Blow Your Partners Mind
  9. A Shy Girl's Guide to Making 3 Friends at Age 11 and Clinging to Them Forever