Reasons I'm Like This

inspired by @ShawnKelly
  1. Because my dad took me to Barnes and Noble and let me roam for hours while he sat in the magazine section
    Every weekend regardless of place or company
  2. Because I accidentally touched the weed that teens left at my neighborhood park and immediately puked from anxiety
    I'll just let you guess how old I was when this happened
  3. Because my skin tone makes me a winter but my hair and eyes make me an autumn
  4. Because I'm the only one in my friend group who regularly had to have suppositories inserted into their butt from ages 3-12
    I'm sorry for being gross but this Defined Me
  5. Because my mom wouldn't let me have a Myspace so I had to release my emo energy on Goodreads instead
    Twilight discussion boards 4 dayz
  6. Because I kicked the photographer at J.C. Penney's who tickled me with a featherduster after I asked him not to
    I was 4 and my mom scolded me but only kind of