Quotes From Uber Drivers That Have Made Me Question My Life

Mostly occurring in Atlanta, GA
  1. "You'd make a really good teacher. Are you a teacher? Do you want to meet my son? I live close to the theater."
    Why am I not a teacher?
  2. "Damn, those legs of yours just don't quit."
    My legs quit walking after 30 feet sir, hence the Uber. Also, I'm wearing wide-legged jeans, are my legs that noticeable? Should I walk more? What's my thigh circumference?
  3. "You look like you like Selena Gomez."
    Why doesn't everyone say this to me????
  4. "I almost offered you a water but nah."
    ????? WHAT IS MY THIGH'S CIRCUMFERENCE?
  5. "You look like a steak."
    To be fair, I didn't hear him that well and was too nervous to ask him what he meant, but what is my thigh's circumference?
  6. "You girls going to Pure Gold?" [A strip club.]
    Do I not know how I dress for a concert?
  7. "My passcode is 6743. Just unlock my phone and go to my Instagram and you'll see my pictures from Monaco!"
    If I was an Uber driver, I could go to Monaco?!
  8. "You guys going to get brunch?"
    You can get brunch at 6PM in Atlanta????? I've been living life wrong
  9. "Do you need me to move up my seat? You have enough room back there?"
    What is wrong with my thighs