Thoughts I had today

  1. Texas toast is a perfect balance of delicious flavors and ripping the roof of your mouth on the crust. Why's it gotta be so cruel?
  2. My friend is getting a colonoscopy and endoscopy. She's gonna look like a kabob.
  3. I hate the phrase "bumping uglies". I'd like to think I'm at least bumping averages.
  4. I should pierce my nose again. This time around I would be all "I express myself through ornamentation. This is not about.." Nah I'm already over it.
  5. I can't believe it took me 30 years to like country music. It's all about drinking. Yeah. Like 100% of the songs mention drinking.