ALL 25 OF THE GRAINS AND SEEDS ALLEGEDLY IN THIS SLICE OF BREAD, RANKED

C'mon bread people, cool it with all these grains and seeds. I feel like I'm gnawing through a block of suet.
  1. 1.
    Cracked wheat
    The list of ingredients for bread should stop here. Water, salt and wheat.
  2. 2.
    Rye flakes
    Ok maybe also some rye, got a soft spot for the marble loaf yo.
  3. 3.
    Oats
    No problem with oats either.
  4. 4.
    Soft white wheat flakes
    Seems duplicative but you've won me over with the softness.
  5. 5.
    Rolled oats
    Again, duplicative, but I'll allow it.
  6. 6.
    Barley flakes
    Prefer the softer oat but I guess his adds a little grit.
  7. 7.
    Black sesame seeds
    Now you're just showing off.
  8. 8.
    Yellow corn meal
    Philosophically opposed to any ingredient in "meal" form but I know corn brings the deliciousness so you can stay.
  9. 9.
    White sesame seeds
    🎶Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame seed bun🎶
  10. 10.
    Triticale flakes
    A cross of rye and wheat in oat-like form, absolutely no way to prove this is in this slice of bread. Sounds made up.
  11. 11.
    Whole millet
    AKA bird seed
  12. 12.
    Sunflower seeds and seed kernels
    I am not a bird.
  13. 13.
    Flax seed
    I AM NOT A BIRD.
  14. 14.
    Whole brown flax seeds
    Fucking hell.
  15. 15.
    Golden flax
    Points for being "golden," otherwise flavorless and supposedly beneficial mix-in that probably isn't doing any texture favors here.
  16. 16.
    Red wheat bran
    Ok we're sorta back on track, got a bad childhood association with bran muffins though, so you're not fooling me with the redness.
  17. 17.
    Natural blue poppy seeds
    Man: Excuse me. I couldn't help overhearing. I notice you're eating a poppy seed muffin. Elaine: Yeah, I eat these muffins all the time. Man: Well, you know what opium is made from... Elaine: Poppies!
  18. 18.
    Pumpkin seeds
    This one is tough for me because I love pumpkin seeds, toasted with a bit of spice in the fall, but not in my bread.
  19. 19.
    Rolled spelt
    Another more fashionable oat, only keeping it this high because I wish "spelt" was the past participle of spell.
  20. 20.
    Buckwheat
    PANCAKES ONLY
  21. 21.
    Whole white sorghum
    Unnecessary, I think this is adding a weird sweetness to the already ridiculous flavor profile.
  22. 22.
    Brown rice meal
    🚫meals
  23. 23.
    Amaranth
    No way this actually exists.
  24. 24.
    Kamut® Khorasan Wheat Flakes
    I don't know why we need a third and BRANDED wheat flake in this slice of bread. Just double down on the regular stuff.
  25. 25.
    Tri-colored quinoa
    GTFO of my bread, quinoa.