AM I STILL ADRIFT AT SEA?
A decision tree list for those stranded in the ocean.
- 1.When you look around do you see an endless horizon of ocean in every direction?Yes: Go to 8 / No: Go to 2
- 2.Did you just wake up face down on the sand, wearing tattered clothing, waves crashing all around you?Yes: Go to 7 / No: Go to 3
- 3.Are you onboard a foreign fishing vessel with a crew of mixed nationalities chatting excitedly while you shiver under a thick wool blanket drinking broth from a mug?Yes: Go to 7 / No: Go to 4
- 4.Are you engaged in an intoxicating discussion with an oar that looks a lot like Johnny Depp?Yes: Go to 8 / No: Go to 5
- 5.Did a land bird with relatively limited flight range just alight on the bow of your boat or ramshackle raft?Yes: Go to 6 / No: Go to 8
- 6.Does the bird appear to be a talking cartoon bird or a real bird?Cartoon: Go to 8 / Real Bird: Go to 9
- 7.🌴You are no longer adrift at sea 🌴
- 8.💀Sorry, you are still adrift at sea💀
- 9.🚣You are still adrift at sea, but land is nearby so start paddling🚣