AM I STILL ADRIFT AT SEA?

A decision tree list for those stranded in the ocean.
  1. 1.
    When you look around do you see an endless horizon of ocean in every direction?
    Yes: Go to 8 / No: Go to 2
  2. 2.
    Did you just wake up face down on the sand, wearing tattered clothing, waves crashing all around you?
    Yes: Go to 7 / No: Go to 3
  3. 3.
    Are you onboard a foreign fishing vessel with a crew of mixed nationalities chatting excitedly while you shiver under a thick wool blanket drinking broth from a mug?
    Yes: Go to 7 / No: Go to 4
  4. 4.
    Are you engaged in an intoxicating discussion with an oar that looks a lot like Johnny Depp?
    Yes: Go to 8 / No: Go to 5
  5. 5.
    Did a land bird with relatively limited flight range just alight on the bow of your boat or ramshackle raft?
    Yes: Go to 6 / No: Go to 8
  6. 6.
    Does the bird appear to be a talking cartoon bird or a real bird?
    Cartoon: Go to 8 / Real Bird: Go to 9
  7. 7.
    🌴You are no longer adrift at sea 🌴
  8. 8.
    💀Sorry, you are still adrift at sea💀
  9. 9.
    🚣You are still adrift at sea, but land is nearby so start paddling🚣