American Coins, Ranked
- •DOLLARNothing beats the shock value of handing over one of these beasts. I like to pay for movie tickets with them, shoved through the window like poker chips. This coin is a hero and a survivor, literally a national treasure.
- •QUARTERYou know what I'm talking about, the quarter is a delight. Has a great pocket feel, nice jingle sound and it's always a pleasure to find in the sofa. You can almost always find something to do with a quarter.
- •HALF DOLLARKind of a sleeper choice but a solid coin. Really substantial in the hand and causes great confusion when used in bodegas. A real conversation starter.
- •NICKELGood old nickel. Round, thick, really fun to spend when you have the rare opportunity. Otherwise, the best coin for spinning, rolling and playing games of "nickels" behind the 7-11.
- •PENNYOh the penny, so useless and dirty but yet untouchable. This coin is literally worth less than the material it's made of yet we just can't quit it. Why? Probably because it has Lincoln on it and it occupies such a special place in our cultural lore. It also reminds us how cheap things used to be and how expensive they are now. See a penny pick it up...
- •DIMESeriously, fuck the dime. Smaller than the penny and the nickel but worth more? Whose idea was that? Go home dime, you're tiny and drunk.