I'm not talking about ponderous therapy-level techniques or obvious ones like, uh, be nice to each other and have lots of sex. These are the relatively simple, fun and impactful things you can do.
  1. Buy a King Bed
    Yeah I used to be one of those people who was like, "I'll never upgrade from a queen bed because I like the intimacy!" But then you take enough vacations and have enough amazing nights in king beds to realize that you're actually just waking each other up all night in a smaller bed. We made excuses for years and then finally did it and have been absolutely giddy.
  2. Take Staycations as Often as Vacations
    Amazed at how many couples, especially those with kids, don't make time for staycations. If kids are in the equation it's so much easier to arrange a single night away with local help and you won't have the stress of travel. Stay in a plush hotel or find a quirky Air BnB--we've spent staycations nights in yurts and tugboats and felt like we were a million miles away.
  3. Be Supportive of Alone Time
    As long as you have a good foundation, absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Don't just support but actively encourage solo time for each other, whether they're an introvert who wants to hole up in a cabin alone for a weekend and read or take a rowdy trip with other solo friends, this absolutely has to happen, every year.
  4. Just Make a Damn Chore System Already
    In the likelihood that you can't afford 24 hour live-in help, you need a system. Trust me. Nobody likes going through this exercise but damn if it doesn't make magic happen. Putting any kind of system in place that forces you to communicate and come to agreement on the mundane shared bullshit is like surgery to remove a nagging ailment. And you can do all kinds of fun things with the time you save by not bickering, like...
  5. Play Hooky Together
    This is my favorite because it's so easy and so effective. The happiest married couples I know are the ones who occasionally drop their kids at school, call in sick and go surfing together for the day. Even a long lunch picnic or clandestine matinee movie have a magical restorative effect.