A decision tree list for the caffeine curious.
  1. What time is it?
    Before noon: Go to 19 / After noon: Go to 2
  2. How many cups have you already had?
    Just one: Go to 19 / More than one: Go to 3
  3. What time did you wake up today?
    Before noon: Go to 4 / After noon or not sure: Go to 19
  4. Are you at home or somewhere else (including home office)?
    Home: Go to 9 / Somewhere else: Go to 5
  5. Are you working?
    Yes: Go to 6 / No: Go to 7
  6. Is the coffee iced?
    Yes: Go to 19 / No: Go to 20
  7. Are you alone or with other people?
    Alone: Go to 8 / Other people: Go to 10
  8. Are you driving on a long road trip?
    Yes: Go to 19 / No: Go to 17
  9. Are you getting ready to leave the house to go out for the night?
    Yes: Go to 19 / No: Go to 22
  10. Are you at a bar?
    Yes: Go to 11 / No: Go to 12
  11. Does the coffee have alcohol in it?
    Yes: Go to 19 / No: Go to 16
  12. Are you in an academic setting?
    Yes: Go to 20 / No: Go to 13
  13. Are you on vacation or out of work for some other reason (weekend, holiday or independently wealthy)?
    Yes: Go to 14 / No: Go to 17
  14. Did you just overeat at a family meal?
    Yes: Go to 19 / No: Go to 15
  15. Are you strolling around a shopping or tourist district and just need an excuse to sit down?
    Yes: Go to 19 / No: Go to 17
  16. Are you a designated driver or sober for other reasons?
    Yes: Go to 19 / No: Go to 21
  17. Are you at a locally owned coffee shop known for rare or interesting roasts and high quality brewing techniques, such as pour over?
    Yes: Go to 18 / No: Go to 22
  18. Are you just trying to sleep with one of the baristas?
    Yes: Go to 22 / No: Go to 19
  19. ☕️Yep☕️
  20. 🌿No, but try yerba mate or matcha🌿
  21. 😴Drink a glass of water and go to bed😴
  22. 🚫No, you've had enough caffeine today🚫