SWINGS, RANKED

  1. 1.
    Tree
    Chances are good that the best or most memorable swing experience you ever had was via a tree swing. The longer the rope and the wider the plank the better. A long, slow arc under a tree canopy on a breezy summer day can't be beaten.
  2. 2.
    Playground
    Probably your first swing and hands down the best for height, speed and comfort. You get to rediscover these as an adult when you have your own child and/or stumble into a playground on a drunk walk home. And urban legends of kids that went 360 are 💯.
  3. 3.
    Rope
    Fuck. Yeah.
  4. 4.
    Porch
    Lots of good vibes here but in many ways these are better to look at than actually use. Major points for shareability which is so rare in a swing.
  5. 5.
    Tire
    I really wish I could rank them higher because the idea of a tire swing is so rad. But if we're being real, they score very low in the comfort and cleanliness category. Points for the random spin action and no swing photographs as well as a tire swing at sunset.
  6. 6.
    Sex
    Never tried it so I can't legitimately knock it, but if my fantasies of it are this awkward I can only assume that the reality is a complete disaster.
  7. 7.
    Wrecking ball
    This just seems impractical on every level.