The Following Spiders Can Go Straight To 🔥Hell🔥
- •JerryThe asshole who makes a web in front of my front door every night. Go to hell, Jerry.
- •HelenThe spider that somehow got into my car and skitters across the dashboard only when I am occupied making a complicated driving maneuver. GTFO Helen.
- •TimThe massive and spindly black spider that appears on the floor in my basement and vanishes into thin air while I am frantically searching for a shoe or lead pipe. Tim: Your guts will be mine.
- •MidgeThe brown garden spider that ended up in my hair this morning while I was mowing the lawn. Don't RIP Midge.
- •The RedshirtsThe endless supply of generic house spiders that haplessly fall into a bathtub or sink overnight, only to demise at the hand of my godlike water summoning powers.
- •AnonymousThe giant disgusting brown spider that ran onto my hand when I opened the garbage can just now, I hate you the most.