Things I Forgot About Newborns
Been out of the game for a while but I'm back, baby 👶
- •This is my daughter June. She was born on Friday. Hey June!
- •They all look like aliens EXCEPT for yours, yours looks perfectMy favorite trivia about genetics is how newborns most often resemble the father in order to encourage him to stick around, from a species survival perspective.
- •They have razor sharp fingernailsYou spend a lot of time trying to keep them from scratching their face, because despite being so sharp they are also a bit too brittle to trim right away.
- •They are born covered in lotionIt's called vernix caseosa and they are coated in it in utero to protect them from constant exposure to amniotic fluid. Some of it remains when they come out and you can't wipe it off because it's so adherent, you just have to wait for them to absorb it. Small details like this are just absolute evolutionary marvels to me.
- •They have deep purple extremitiesFor the first 24/48 hours arms, legs hands and feet can be dark purple while the rest of the body turns a healthy pink. I assume this one has to do with blood flow. One of the many things that you immediately think is a bad sign that is completely normal.
- •They are the simplest and yet somehow the most daunting of all peopleYou only have two jobs, keep them quiet and alive. If they cry, 99% of the time they need either sleep, food or to fart. The daunting part comes from the unpredictability and very sudden and immense responsibility.
- •That smellImagine a thing that is so fresh, completely unpolluted by any toxin or external actor, allowed to grow for nine months in a sealed and protected organic vault. That thing would not smell like any other thing you have ever smelled in your life and it is intoxicating.