THINGS I YELLED AT MY SON WHILE BIKING HIM TO SCHOOL TODAY

Somewhere around 3.5 years old he started conversing primarily in argument form, and bike rides are a prime battleground because we're trapped together in close proximity. Sometimes I wear headphones to drown him out. Sometimes we just yell at each other for 15 minutes.
  1. STOP HITTING MY BACK, THIS BIKE IS A NO TOUCH ZONE TODAY I'M SERIOUS
  2. THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY, I TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL EVERYDAY WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I DONT KNOW THE WAY?
  3. THAT IS NOT A FORKLIFT CRANE, I THINK I KNOW WHAT A FORKLIFT CRANE LOOKS LIKE
  4. THAT IS NOT MY MUSIC, I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THAT CAR'S STEREO
  5. NO SIR THIS BIKE IS NOT DIRTY, I KEEP IT VERY CLEAN
  6. THAT GARBAGE TRUCK IS ABSOLUTELY NOT BOTHERING YOU, HE IS DOING HIS JOB
  7. YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO JUST DEAL WITH THESE BUMPS DUDE
  8. I AM ALREADY USING MY MUSCLES, THAT'S HOW WE MOVE
  9. IT IS NOT SATURDAY, I HAVE A CALENDAR AND KNOW FOR A FACT IT'S MONDAY
  10. IT'S MY WISH AND I CAN USE IT ON WHATEVER I WANT, THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT
  11. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A POOP STORE, STOP YELLING THAT
  12. I LOVE YOU TOO, STOP HITTING ME