Supposedly Fun Things I'll Never Do In The First Place

  1. Skiing
  2. Easter egg hunts
  3. Rocking chairs
  4. Foam
  5. Getting Showtime
  6. Putting 3D glasses on top of my actual glasses
  7. Buying US Weekly
  8. Window shopping
  9. Roller coasters
  10. Playing Devil's advocate
  11. Seeing the movie before reading the book
  12. Getting objects signed
  13. Taking arty Instagram photos of my jeweled appendages
  14. The musical and sartorial stylings of Pharrell. Seems like a nice guy tho.
  15. Taking a ferry to see sculptures
  16. Meeting someone in union square (the greatest trick union square ever pulled was convincing New Yorkers it exists)
  17. Rooftop parties with inadequate railings/glass
  18. Squash
  19. Black tar heroin
  20. Adult coloring books