THINGS I'VE SAID AS A TEACHER

  1. Please take your pencil out of your classmate's ear.
  2. How does the image of a mouse getting cheese connect to your personal narrative about your grandmother passing away?
  3. If you have to ask if it's appropriate, then it probably isn't.
  4. I don't take being awesome lightly.
  5. You are in detention because you chose to use a simile to compare the smell of the classroom to the smell of an illegal drug.
  6. Please stop touching each other.
  7. When you look down at your lap and smile, I know you have your cell phone out.
  8. Pick up your feet; you're not a Sasquatch.
  9. No one needs paper cone fingers out while they read.
  10. Silence means that I should only hear faint breathing and pages turning.
  11. If you're goal is to be the class clown, then you have succeeded.
  12. You're a leader; use your power for good.
  13. Please stop fake crying while I read The Giving Tree.
  14. I asked you to analyze this as a mature student, which you proved that you are not.