FACTS ABOUT MY HIGH SCHOOL XC COACH

he coached me for 4 years over summers, falls, winters, and springs during cross country and track
  1. He met me for the first time when I was in the 9th grade and pronounced my name wrong. We spent four long years together and he never got it right
  2. He was living in his glory days
    There's this TS Eliot poem about an athlete watching the children winning, sitting in his chair and missing the old times. You made us read that poem and months later I figured out--this was a poem about you
  3. He was my English teacher for 2 years
    He wasn't a bad teacher but he was department chair...and I heard he made some of the newer and younger teachers feel inferior but didn't believe it because I thought he was god
  4. He waxed his bald, shiny head
  5. He was the only person I knew that made crocs look good
  6. We joked that he was sexy
  7. He flirted all the time
    He was always "messing around" with people, mostly girls
  8. He was harmless, as far as I know
    Despite the above fact
  9. He gave different treatment to some people
    I wouldn't say he had favorites; he just treated some people differently for no real understandable motive
  10. He made enemies
    some athletes came from a harder background than others, and they were more likely to get frustrated. Coach didn't have the time for that
  11. He was harder on the boys than the girls
    He took the boys team as a more serious affair...he might have pulled a female athlete aside if he wanted to talk about their performance but if a male had a bad race, the whole team could hear about the lecture
  12. I never felt he thought I was ever an asset to the team
    I guess I wasn't
  13. He knew way too much about some of his athletes lives
    He didn't meddle directly, but he was in people's business when he wasn't welcome, and often, that person didn't really realize how much he knew
  14. He thought he was always right
    When it came to matters of his teaching or coaching
  15. He was VERY cocky
    He was extremely full of pride and arrogance. He knew he was qualified for his jobs, he earned respect and let it go to his head, he was proud of all the dirt he knew, he enjoyed the flirty way he acted, and he really thought he was the shit
  16. He put pressure on me to ace the AP English Test
    I didn't meet his expectations and I felt afraid that I'd disappointed him
  17. He pushed me apart from my best friend
    Because he didn't think like our relationship
  18. I was uncomfortable when I realized he knew or thought about my private life
    I didn't give anyone permission to have this information nor did I feel comfortable with anyone speculating on it
  19. He gave me an unfair punishment for something that wasn't a crime
    When I tried to explain to him in tears the consequences of it, he laughed, shrugged, and said "well, your foresight is always 20/20!"
  20. He did care about me
    He just did it all wrong
  21. He told me "hey, you're not a bad person."
    It meant nothing
  22. For most of my last months before graduating, I thought he viewed me as inferior
    So I tried so hard to win his favor when I didn't need his validation for any real reason
  23. I harbor extreme resentment over him
    And when I hear his name, I have to bite my tongue because someone will be praising his perfection
  24. He broke my heart and ultimately disappointed me
    as another person I thought cared who never bothered to ask if I was okay when I was clearly slipping into crippling depression I couldn't hide, and as another authority figure I couldn't trust