I QUIT THERAPY

A quick reflection for me
  1. Today, I went to therapy and told my therapist I wasn't coming back after today.
  2. No more individual talks on the couch, no more group therapy as well
    I hate group therapy
  3. She seemed okay with this
    And told me she supports me, although was less enthusiastic about me quitting group, and thought there was something more to it
  4. I'm tired
    There's nothing more to it
  5. It's not because I'm afraid of confronting something so I just quit
  6. It's not because I'm scared of continuing so I quit
  7. It's not because I'm confused of my goals so I quit
  8. It's not because I have decided I don't want to let go of my past so I quit
  9. It's not because I stopped trying or my therapist stopped trying so I quit
  10. It's not that I'm afraid of seeking treatment or labeling myself as mentally ill any longer so I quit
  11. It's not because I have nothing else to work through and am very well adjusted now so I quit
  12. It's not because I'm 100% cured so I quit
  13. It's that I'm fucking done
    I'm tired of talking about my life and I would rather go live it
  14. This is an exhausting process
    and I stopped having any more (or any desire) to give it anything a while ago
  15. Going to therapy has become a chore
    I dread it
  16. This stopped being productive a while ago
  17. I feel worse after therapy and often I am going to therapy rather than doing things I know I would enjoy
  18. I'm doing a lot better than I was a year ago
    I do want to be alive, I want to be better, I want to make new friends, I want to be a healthy and happy person
  19. I am tired of being ill, but I'm not denying that I am
    I am saying that therapy is no longer a means for me to not be ill
  20. I just feel like didn't get the opportunity to try to be better on my own agenda
    Which is not to deny that I need help
  21. What's supposed to help me has become a burden
  22. So, I quit
  23. My doctor is gonna get pretty mad
    He's a great doctor and he's great but I don't like him but that doesn't mean I don't want him to be my doctor, it just means we argue a lot
  24. I have to keep taking medication though
    And I don't need a refill for a while so lemme just put off seeing my psychiatrist ok
  25. Today was the first time in a long I time left therapy and felt good about it
  26. I did try and dig deeper to find some meaning behind quitting therapy
    But there is no deeper meaning that I know. I just don't want to do it anymore. I have no desire. The game is over and I stopped playing a while ago. "It's not because..." any of the things I listed earlier or my therapist suggested. I'm done.
  27. I don't think it's because my therapist and I are no longer a good match
    Though maybe there is a little of that. The truth is, it's the entire process I need a break from. I am not tired of my therapist, I'm tired of therapy in every form it exists
  28. That's about it. So to therapy I have to say:
  29. Bye✌🏽
  30. 🙃