THINGS I LEARNED WATCHING STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS

Don't worry, there are no spoilers. The only other Star Wars I've ever seen is the one with Jar Jar Binks. I don't know enough about what was happening to spoil it...
  1. Harrison Ford? Not Luke Skywalker. True story. I mean I just kinda assumed... To be fair, I don't think he was a character in the one I saw before.
  2. Fred Weasley (George?) now working for Voldemort, who has regrown a nose! Very unexpected...
  3. Wall-E is as cute as ever, and a major player in The Force Awakens!
  4. Special effects are amazing! How did they make Sylvester Stallone look so young?!
  5. Kiera Knightley and Ali Krieger have a daughter, and she is JUST... 😍
  6. Keanu Reeves and Andy Samberg have a son, and he is... Well... 😝
  7. Bigfoot was kind of a smart aleck, and therefore the most relatable character in the whole movie.
  8. Taylor Lautner's brother is just as adorbs as Taylor Lautner. (I didn't see it at first either, but after watching the movie, there's no question. They're brothers. Super cute brothers.)
  9. Star Wars is actually pretty entertaining! Gonna be honest, this is not the impression I got after the Jar Jar Binks episode...