Questions to Ask If You're Worried About Abuse

If you can't convince someone to report, at least try to discuss an exit/safety plan (have bag ready including ID/documents & number/address of shelters). Shelters accept all types of abuse. Make the person feel like they can come to you if they decide to get away.
  1. How would you describe your relationship with X?
    How long have they been in the relationship?
  2. Do you feel safe?
  3. Do you have conflicts/ argue?
  4. Is x under stress?
  5. Does x drink or use drugs?
  6. Does x ever mistreat you in front of children?
  7. Does X ever harm children?
  8. Does X shout at you or call you names ?
  9. Does X hurt you?
  10. Who is controlling the spending at home? Do you have access to finances ? Are you able to take money out against x's wishes?
  11. Does x ever try to have sex or sexual contact with you when you don't want to?
  12. Does X let you practice your religion?
  13. Does X allow you to communicate with your family and friends as you wish?
  14. Does X threaten to send you back to your country?
  15. Does X blame you for everything?
  16. How are you affected by all this?
  17. Are you afraid to make your own decisions?
  18. Do you make excuses for X ?
  19. Have your eating/sleeping habits changed?
  20. Have you started using alcohol/ drugs?
    Or more alcohol
  21. How's your mood?
  22. Do you feel anxious?
  23. How's your confidence ?
  24. Are there weapons at home?
  25. Have you ever thought about hurting yourself or X?
  26. Have you talked to anybody?
  27. Do you have an exit plan just in case ?
  28. Can I help ?
  29. If the person is male make sure they know that it's also normal for men to be abused, despite the stigma.
  30. Remember elderly people often get abused/taken advantage of too.