THOUGHT PROCESS DURING MY GYNO APPOINTMENT TODAY

Laying it all out there for my listers
  1. β€’
    Can't believe I was just here yesterday at 8am and got the date wrong
  2. β€’
    Did I shave enough?
  3. β€’
    Is shaving for papsmears weird..
  4. β€’
    nurse I know my blood pressure is low stop judging me I'm hungry
  5. β€’
    Please let me take my shoes off when I get weighed they add like 5 lbs..... Frick
  6. β€’
    Can't believe I scheduled this appointment with an app... THE FUTURE IS HERE
  7. β€’
    I don't remember my last period who the f does
  8. β€’
    "Last sexual encounter" *A couple months* "uhm like a month"
  9. β€’
    YEAH condoms, yes I swear *lol*
  10. β€’
    I'm sweating
  11. β€’
    Omg they didn't give me a dress they literally gave me a tank top... How is this going to cover everything???
  12. β€’
    Like do I just sit here naked scuse me
  13. β€’
    This plastic sheet will not cover my bits pleaz Halp
  14. β€’
    Omg I got a pit stain on the plastic dress WTF why only one side!!!!!
  15. β€’
    *snapchats rolling eyes in plastic dress*
  16. β€’
    Okay hi gyno lady can you not be a full blown Mormon rn I have questions
  17. β€’
    Stirrups is probably the worst word in the English language I'm cringing
  18. β€’
    And here comes the FLASHLIGHT
  19. β€’
    Ex fucking scuse me the metal crane will NOT be entering me OMFG
  20. β€’
    I don't care if my face looks rude right now this is what the depths of hell is
  21. β€’
    Stop trying to have a normal conversation with me while all up in my shit right now
  22. β€’
    Yeah would you like to just rip my ovaries out cuz your close lady
  23. β€’
    lube. NOPE
  24. β€’
    *boob exam* 😢❌❌❌❌❌🚫🚫🚫
  25. β€’
    *Squish squish squish* yep I have organs and fat thank you
  26. β€’
    My butt is sweating the light is hot
  27. β€’
    God if your there please just speed this up a bit I'm not a fan of healthcare not a fan
  28. β€’
    Okay thanks Norma Mormon catch ya never.
  29. β€’
    Where do I throw my sweaty plastic sheet
  30. β€’
    Don't panics but there's no trash this is bad they're gunna know I sweated the whole time
  31. β€’
    Under the chair. Yolo PEACE