11 shitty things I've done this week that I should atone for

  1. 1.
    Shamed fellow postgrad student for not knowing enough about 'Brexit'.
    (I haven't been following it either)
  2. 2.
    Put phone on speaker and secretly left to check the mail while Mum was telling me about her day.
    (She didn't notice)
  3. 3.
    Stole three slices of flatmate's bread because I was hungry and couldn't be bothered walking to the supermarket.
  4. 4.
    Lied about stealing flatmate's bread when confronted. Implicated innocent flatmate.
  5. 5.
    Accidentally dropped my copy of 'One More Thing' by @bjnovak in flat jacuzzi. Destroyed it, and probably gave it an STI.
    (My 8 Tinder-active flatmates have all done unspeakable things in said jacuzzi)
  6. 6.
    Spent two days in my pj's at home, not writing my thesis, because I felt I deserved "me time" - despite my holiday last week.
  7. 7.
    Didn't share my umbrella with an elderly lady walking next to me, simply because I was listening to a good song and didn't want to pause it to make small talk.
  8. 8.
    Pretended I wasn't in my office when someone knocked on the door.
  9. 9.
    Used my sister's Netflix and didn't offer to pay.
  10. 10.
    Torrented a movie when I couldn't find it on my sister's Netflix.
    (I'm a bad person, I know)
  11. 11.
    Have done this many shitty things already this week and it's not even Friday.