HOW TO BE A LADY(BUG) KILLA
Stay out of my dorm, vermin.
- •For more than one bug, follow these steps.
- •If only one bug is present, skip to last step.
- •Locate source of invasion.
- •Plug source.Now it's game time.
- •"Attempt" to resolve diplomatically.It's important to go through the formalities. Other than establishing a paper trail, this is crucial for proper diagnosis of the situation. How many ladybugs deep are we? Are they armed? What's the average spot count?
- •When diplomacy fails, launch preliminary offensive measures.Diplomacy will fail because, as per step 4, you have already sealed the exit. But the bugs don't know that, and they won't know that, because you're going to keep your mouth shut about it. You don't know how that gum got in that hole.
- •Immediately instate a temporary ceasefire.We're dealing with manly bug injuries at this point, few casualties--it'll make the next step easier.
- •Commence bug-human peace talks.Now is when you're on your surveillance game; you should be looking for any bug couriers that are transporting messages to other colonies within your domicile. They'll want to be constantly sending updates on the peace talks in case things start going south.
- •Catalogue all known colonies.
- •Conclude peace talks.
- •Nuclear option.Squish em.