TITLES OF BOOKS I SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN

Per request
  1. Aggressive Ambivalence
    A biography about Pace
  2. 100 Soggy Fables: A LaPoutine Classic
    Coauthored by Joann
  3. Monsieur Moist's 50 Supple Words that Make You Squirm.
  4. I'm Blonde and So Can You
    My fashion debut.
  5. Cumbersome Pickles and a Can of Jam
    My first children's book.
  6. Where's Janet?
    Where is she?
  7. Party in the Backseat
    My novelization of Rebecca Black's hit single.
  8. Party in the Backseat II
    I needed the money.
  9. The Party in the Backseat Trilogy
    Why didn't I stick with Chemistry?
  10. Prequal: Kickin' in the Front Seat
    They were going to shut off my water.