My Typical Experience at a Chinese Restaurant

  1. Mmmm I love ethnic food this is going to be so good!
  2. Wow, this menu is huge! Luckily I'm a vegetarian so I only get a corner of the menu to choose from, which makes my life easier.
  3. Ginger beef... Kung Pao Chicken... Sweet 'n Sour Pork... *mouth waters* Why don't I eat meat again???
  4. Hmm tofu or eggplant or mixed vegetables or sautéed broccoli... What's on those thirteen meat pages again?
  5. Ok, DECISION TIME! Head in the game, Sullivan.
  6. I'll get a veggie egg roll B527, the stir fried eggplant in black bean sauce F183, and veggie chow mein noodles K73. 2,803 calories.. That will probably be enough.
  7. *waitress approaches* Shit I forgot all the pages, numbers, and names of everything I want!
  8. After fumbling through the whole menu I finally spit it out and instantly question all of my choices but it's too late to go back now.
  9. Drink?
  10. Diet Coke, please.
  11. Diet Pepsi ok?
  12. *indignantly looks away* I'll just have water... *but secretly thanks for asking and not just brining me the DP*
  13. Food comes, I eat it all and hate myself.
  14. *signs to waitress 'check please'*
  15. Ooh a fortune cookie! They taste like shit, but I like reading my fortune and adding 'in bed' to the end to be a little naughty tee hee.
  16. "Strong and bitter words indicate a deep cause...in bed?" That's not a fortune. But I eat the rest of the cookie because it's food and it's in front of me.
  17. Bill paid, over-ate, fierce garlic breath... Why did I think this time would be any different???
  18. *40 minutes later* And I'm hungry again...