"We love clean lines!"
  1. Hi I'm Matt
    My wife made me do this.
  2. And this is my wife Karen.
    Yep. That's the one.
  3. And we are looking to buy our first house.
    On television.
  4. I love colonial houses and cape cod style houses.
  5. And Karen loves Victorians.
  6. So we're comprising.
  7. And getting a Victorian.
  8. We definitely only want it to look like a Victorian on the OUTSIDE.
    Duh, old homes can be gross!!!!!
  9. We'd like a mid-century modern look inside.
    we love watching mad men, and learned that word from the show.
  10. Of course we are very into...
  11. Clean lines.
    Don't know what that means.
  12. Double sinks.
  13. And a gas stove for Karen.
    she better cook for me AHHHAHAH just kidding I'm a feminist KAREN what's for dinner
  14. We do not want an unfinished basement.
  15. We need a garage.
  16. And we want a good view.
    This will never work!!!!
  17. Our budget is $5.
    We'd really like to only spend $2.
  18. So today we looked at a cute cape cod style house.
    But Karen told me she'd murder me if we chose this one. BUT it's under budget at $2.75
  19. And we saw a modern house.
    Karen began to cry. It's far from her office AND it's not turn key. A major thumbs down. But the pool is fun!!
  20. And we saw an over-budget Victorian with a sick finished basement.
    Perfect for a man cave!!!! And Karen stopped crying.
  21. We knew we had to choose one.
  22. Would it be.
  23. Cute under-budget cottage that made Karen consider murder????
  24. Modern home right on budget with a pool?
    Wait Karen why the hell are you crying again
  25. Or
  26. The expensive Victorian with a man cave???
  27. Well
  28. Actually
  29. We never picked one
  30. Karen asked for a divorce
  31. I should have seen it coming
  32. None of the houses had cathedral ceilings
  33. A deal breaker for Karen
  34. She told me I didn't take her needs seriously
  35. That I would never be able to live up to her expectations
  36. That I'd never learn the true beauty of exposed brick and a furnished laundry room
  37. I'm alone
  38. I'm so alone
  39. Karen come back
  40. We can rip up the wall to wall carpeting