Inspired by @manda. I'm just clumsy these aren't THAT dumb actually
  1. black eye, age 4
    my brother and I used to play with the cushions from our sofa (which had a wooden base). we piled them all up and jumped onto them. my brother had the 🌟golden🌟 idea to throw me off the couch onto the pile. he didn't. he dropped me face first onto the wooden base of the couch.
  2. split lip, age 5
    I was playing "keep the balloon up in the air" with my brother when I slipped on the bottoms of my too-long sweatpants. I fell face first on the floor.
  3. intensely scraped knees, age 9
    I was playing tag during recess w 2 of the fastest boys in my grade. I wanted to show off how fast I was too and I was it, so perfect opportunity!! they were running in a line and I was behind both of them. they split up right before a curb, over which I tripped. I was sent tumbling through both the air and an ocean of despair :)))
  4. huge cut down both shins, age 14
    running backstage at a recital and tripped over/a girl pushed me over one of the props. the cut was about 8 in. long on my right leg and 6 on the left. you could see the imprint of the fishnet tights I was wearing in my raw flesh!!! afterwards, my dance teacher rubbed glittery eyeshadow in it to attempt to cover it up. gross.
  5. dislocated ankle, age 14
    I was at sky zone, or one of those massive trampoline centers. my dad had just bought 2 hrs. for my friends and I. 30 seconds in, mid-jump, I realized I wasn't going to land on the trampoline. instead, I landed on the middle border bit and rolled my ankle.
  6. sprained ankle, age 14
    dancing. I jumped and somehow forgot how to step on my foot. rolled my ankle and was out for a week.
  7. sprained ankle, age 15
    on my birthday!! basically the same as the last one.
  8. sprained ankle, age 16
    I fell down the stairs bc my mind was consumed w curiosity about what my crush texted me ahahahahahahahahahAHAHAHhhaha