UPDATE: HE KISSED ME

this feels so teen angst-y, pls disregard I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS
  1. we went to the park on Sunday
    nice weather and good moods all around
  2. it was cool, but warm in the sunlight, so I wore shorts and a t-shirt
  3. I picked him up and drove us to the park near his house
    I parallel parked like a boss ass bitch.
  4. there were kids on the swings, so we climbed about the playground part
  5. we talked. and talked. and talked.
    we talked about our dreams (literally), how life would be different if we made different choices, family, and other stuff
  6. we sat on the swings and talked some more
  7. the sun was going down, it was getting cold, so we ran back up the the playground part
    it was slightly higher, so the trees covered less of the sun. it was warmer than the swings in theory, but not really
  8. I began jumping around to try to keep my blood flowing
    it was 55 degrees out aND IM IN SHORTS AND A TSHIRT
  9. he warmed up my hands for me
  10. he sat down to show me a part of his story he was telling me
  11. I sat down next to him, saying, "I can't take this I need warmth"
  12. and he scooted over and put his arm around me like it was the most natural thing to do
  13. we talked more and watched the sky change color
  14. we sat in pleasant, comfortable silence
  15. I rested my head against his and we whispered some more conversation
  16. I tucked my face into his neck and he wrapped his other arm around me
  17. I felt his breathing become uneven
    like when you get so nervous that you get a knot in your stomach, and the only way to alleviate it is to breathe like you're trying to suck the world in
  18. slowly, very slowly I moved my face closer to his
  19. and I think we both kinda felt what was coming next
  20. so I mentally prepared myself to do it
  21. and I did it
  22. except....
  23. I MISSED HIS MOUTH
    I ended up kissing his cheek near the corner of his mouth
  24. so I retreated into his neck again to compose myself
    me (mentally): shit shit shit shit shit shit
  25. the second try, we looked at each other before it happened
    like there was a more mutual understanding this time
  26. and we kissed
  27. it was sweet
  28. this story makes me feel so gross & young
    in a good way
  29. we sprinted back to the car, shouting and shivering
  30. ironically, "young love" by Chris Brown was playing when I turned on the radio
    I think that might sum it up pretty well