THOUGHTS THAT RAN THROUGH MY HEAD THE FIRST TIME I SMOKED WEED, IN ORDER

So I'm from Sweden where we have this ancient law called "Zero tolerance of narcotics" which basically just means that it is super illegal to try, use, own and or sell drugs. Here are some thoughts I thought the first time I broke the zero tolerance law.
  1. I'm not feeling it, this shit is not working you guys
  2. Am I even doing it right? Am I just a kid smoking paper??? Well this isn't at all as Rihanna as I thought it would be
  3. Shit!!! Sirens! They are coming to get me!!!!
  4. here me and my friends almost had parallell heart attacks, until we realised - way to late - that if the police actually knew that we were smoking weed in my appartment, they probably wouldn't use the sirens to let us know they were coming
  5. Shit, my heart is still beating way too fast. I should go to the bathroom and put my head between my knees and just try not to die.
  6. "You guys, I'm cool and all, I just have to pee"
  7. In the bathroom, washing my hands and looking into the mirror after being in fetal position on the floor for what felt like an endless amount of time:
    What the fuck happened to my face?
  8. When feeling face, to be absolutely sure that it is in fact NOT melting:
    DAMN, this new soap I bought yesterday smells fucking delicious!
  9. SUCH a fucking great soap!!!
  10. You guys, you HAVE to come in here and smell my new soap! It's awesome.