EMOJIS IN MY FREQUENTLY USED LIST THAT I'VE NEVER USED
This list is only reinforcing my iPhone's misguided view of my emoji use. But the world needs to know.
- •⛽️Gasoline?? Never used this in my life.
- •🚖Though entirely plausible, it's entirely impossible this is frequently used because it's never used. #emojilogic
- •🚅I can't tell if it's a fancy train or a normal plane. This confusion precludes my using it, and therefore its being frequently used by me.
- •🏂100% not frequently used. I trip over flat surfaces. No way I'm strapping myself to a plank of wood and gliding down a mountain, either in real life or in emoji life. You're wrong, iPhone.
- •🛀🏻There are few things I detest more than baths. I've even mentioned this in a prior list. Just the thought of my naked body making contact with a gross tub of suspect cleanliness makes me anxious. Definitely would not use this emoji. EVER.
- •🏄🏻See snowboarding emoji, above.
- •🏊🏼This is the only reasonable emoji on the list, iPhone. But I've rarely if ever used it. So I'm afraid you're wrong again. Good try though.
- •⚓️An anchor? Nope. No use for this. Ergo, never used.
- •🚣🏻I've never had a reason to have a rowboat in a text conversation. The way I move down a body of water is on a tube, with a beer in hand. So far off, iPhone. You disappoint me. Do you even know me, bro?