THINGS THAT HAPPENED AT WORK TODAY, TO WHICH I CAN'T EVEN WITH THIS

My day told in snippets and scores.
  1. My boss telling me to send a forceful email to the partner in Singapore who has been unresponsive for two weeks to light a fire under his ass. I write a polite, but assertive email re: our Friday deadline and his lack of communication. I ask what we can do to help move the task along.
    And this man loses his ever loving mind. Just goes apeshit via email, demands to know how I could fling such baseless accusations. My boss then tells me I took her instructions to "bully him" too literally. Wtf? I didn't cuss the guy out. I reminded him of our deadline & called him out on holding up the deal, at your behest. Thanks for taking zero ownership and making sure I hung alone for this one. Despite trying to take her oblivious comments on the chin, I cry. Fuuuuuck. Tuesday: 1. Sogol: 0.
  2. My manager on a different client asking me to look at the Brazilian cash flow model in anticipation of our call tomorrow, since he won't have time to look at it.
    Sure; I do not know Brazilian tax laws, and am not sure I'll be making any insightful comments. Particularly since any words which could help me understand this model are in Portuguese. Tuesday: 2. Sogol: 0.
  3. My other manager on another client telling me I had to write a memo on a really complex transaction AND calculate all the tax consequences by 2pm today. He tells me this yesterday at 6:30pm when he's known about it since Friday.
    I work all night last night, come in early, work straight through lunch (punctuated by angry Singaporean emails and the attendant overwhelming anxiety) to get this done by 2. My manager then sits on this until 5:15 pm, and isn't even sending it to the partner for review until tomorrow. Also, he just wanted a summary, so can I just type up the numbers instead of including all this pesky law and analysis? Tuesday: 3. Sogol: the shell of who she once was.
  4. Adding insult to injury, I finally buy a sad little salad from the tiny deli in our building for a hasty lunch.
    It consists of iceberg, white cheese, diced turkey, diced ham, and ranch. Nothing colorful or particularly appetizing (can a girl get a tomato? Damn!). I blame this sad little salad (and the after effects of the hateful emails) for my afternoon full of what I've dubbed "stress burps."
  5. By this point, nothing is right, but everything has become funny. Including having to stay at work until just now because said manager wants me to hang around to run his edits "real time." LOL!!
    Extreme frustration/faux tragedy + too much coffee + time = comedy. Tuesday: TKO. Sogol: down for the count. Wednesday, please be kinder!