Impractical Bookmarks

Inspired by @mirleenew and this list of hers . . .
  1. I have been collecting bookmarks for over thirty years. I have around 300 at last count. This lists is dealing with the most impractical ones.
    I don't like anything hanging over the top of my books so paper clips bookmarks, though cute, never get used.
  2. I like the murder theme here but the small bookmarks are held together by magnets and crease my book's pages.
    I love the murder victim. My youngest sister bought it for me because I was unemployed and it cost over $5. Most of my bookmarks, when I first started collecting, cost $1.99 or less.
  3. I write my name, the date and the place I got the bookmark somewhere on the bookmark itself.
    You can see how small the magnetic clips are.
  4. Another clip variety. I love the gold apple with the green worm 🐛.
    The bookmarks are pretty enough but I never use them.
  5. And some more clip varieties.
    Very colourful - I especially love the peacock but it is too heavy to use.
  6. Very pretty. Very impractical.
    I bought this in Alaska knowing that I would never use it as a bookmark.
  7. This is closer to my perfect bookmark except for the hanger.
    And the fluffy poodle sheds.
  8. A sweet animal collection.
    I do use Shaun the sheep 🐑 as he is close to my ideal bookmark.
  9. I got Shaun when I went to Scotland to celebrate turning 50.
    Which as you can see was in 2010.
  10. This cross-eyed crazy spider 🕷 was also bought on the Isle of Skye.
    She has too many legs. They get trapped in the pages and cause rips.
  11. A green snake and a cute tiger that both hang over the edge of the page.
    And forever keep slipping over the edge and getting lost. Not good.
  12. A very thick tragedy/comedy mask.
    Too thick to sit comfortably inside a book and too heavy to hang over the top. A disaster waiting to happen. Pages creased or ripped or lost.
  13. This wood one is too flimsy.
    Using it, even once, would break it.
  14. These are really tiny - about an inch high and 1/2 inch wide.
    They work okay for paperbacks but I worry about losing them. I like them because they are replicas of early 20th century advertisements.
  15. These are leather and wood.
    They are too thick and, under some circumstances, will stain book pages.
  16. The wood bookmark celebrates my province's centennial so I appreciate it.
    But it is another bookmark that I will never use.
  17. My ideal bookmark is flat, short enough to fit in the average paperback without showing, and skinny enough to not crease the book's spine.
    I have hundreds of these types of bookmarks. I own this one. The first thing I do when I buy a bookmark that has a bead and tassel is get rid of the bead and tassel. I like using bookmarks that do not show at all once they are inside the book.
  18. Keep calm and read on.
    📚 📚 📚 📚 📚 📚 📚
  19. Since I can't edit the list and put it where I want here is the link to Miranda's list that inspired me.