1. Watch the Great British Baking Show
  2. Watch Bloodline
  3. Get drunk and filthy
  4. Take unflattering photos of him and text them to him
  5. Make him pick me up every day to crack my lower back
  6. Poke at his face. He will hate this.
  7. Compare him to my ex
  8. Quietly push him away until he breaks up with me