Things I Wish I Could Ask My Dog

  1. why did you eat that?
  2. why are you licking that other dog's butthole?!
  3. when you tilt your head when I'm talking to you are you actually listening or are you just being a dog??
  4. why are your lips black is that just a general dog thing or are you sick?
  5. is there a dog hierarchy?
  6. is there dog racism????
  7. do you forget that I exist every time I leave the house and then re-learn to love me every time I come home???
  8. why do you roll on other animal shits is it a power play?