RIDICULOUS THINGS THE KIDS I TUTOR IN THE PACIFIC PALISADES HAVE SAID

Palisades are a super rich area of LA, ICYDK. I swear to god these are all 100% real
  1. "Yeah I'm a Patriots fan because Tom Brady used to be my neighbor"
  2. "My dad is friends with Spielberg, so yeah, I'm pretty sure I can get an internship.
  3. "My mom just lowered our family Starbucks budget to $3500 a month"
    I managed to croak "bummer!" before I killed myself
  4. "That's my mom's Oscar."
  5. "No, I've never made pasta or coffee. Juana does that."
    I was trying to explain what filtration was.
  6. "My driver will be here soon so..."
  7. "Do you mean like...the Hamptons Jitney?"
    Apparently this is a train or something that only goes to the Hamptons???? Idk I was trying to explain what a jetty is
  8. And my favorite...
  9. "Does it ever make you sad that your job is to come here and annoy me?"
    NO YOU LITTLE SHITBAG I RELISH IT