Sometimes u mess up when u try to help ; or, white allyship
- •Being an ally is hard, y'all.
- •I've listed in the past (I WAS WRONG ABOUT...) about times I've messed up. I will continue to mess up.
- •All I can do is listen and try to get better.
- •I am trying to put in the work day by day by trying to check myself and prioritize POC, especially WOC, and also other marginalized identities.
- •But sometimes I mess up.
- •Yesterday I commented on @JennyJLee's list when I should have just stepped back.I still want to support her and think about her list and hear her pain and thoughts. It's hard when different people have different ideas about how you can be the most effective ally and you want so bad to be good. Ultimately @stars and @olive and @smirthnut and @ijeoma and @JennyJLee were fine without me and I did more harm than good by muddying the conversation.
- •Being a good ally usually means stepping back, when it's our impulse to step forward.
- •If you really care about social justice, you're usually the kind of person who wants to fix things and step up and talk about things and roll around in it.
- •It can be hard to curb that impulse when the best thing you can do is step back.In this situation, for example, I should have just listened and taken notes on an important intra-POC convo instead of trying to talk about a situation I don't have personal experience with other than my thoughts and observations.
- •It can also be hard to deal with the guilt / remorse that comes from fucking up and not ask for a cookie / pat on the head!Not owed to me or any ally. I mess up about that sometimes too.
- •Other white allies.
- •I'd love for the comments section here to be some discussion amongst ourselves / a space for talking without asking for labor from the POC we want to support.
- •Or thoughts about allyship in general or ideas for actions you're taking this week to be an ally, etc etc.
- •Thanks y'all. Sorry.