Things I worry about even though nothing in my personal history or the laws of physics would suggest they could ever happen.
  1. The world under the bed from Don't Look Under The Bed is real; is under my bed.
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  2. I will sneeze, cough, blink, or have an unavoidable Body Problem while driving on the 405 and die in a fiery car crash from the one second I look away.
  3. Period actually means that I'm dying but I won't know until it's too late because I just think it's my period and not blood from my liver or something.
  4. Boyfriend is actually part of a long-term prank to make fun of me and doesn't love me at all
  5. My weird worries mean I have a real problem
  6. I will die old and alone in a hoarder house and not be found for years until some meddling neighborhood kids explore my decrepit and abandoned former residence