TEXTS I'VE SENT TO CAROLINE THIS MONTH

  1. "I don't want to alarm you but I think I might be a reincarnation of Kierkegaard"
  2. "John has the same glasses as my dad so he's MINE"
  3. "like should we start a dating app for tennis players called Love Match"
  4. "I don't want to be dramatic but this country club is my white whale"
  5. "THIS SHIT DATES BACK TO SOPHOCLES"
  6. "sorry I have so many boyfriends"