Some of my most pressing questions about the Olympic Games
- •Is anyone else concerned about the triathletes doing a bike race in a wet bathing suit?Holy diaper rash. There's no way that's ok...
- •In water polo, they're standing some of the time, right?
- •NBC did a story on a penguin called din din, the fastest swimmer in rio, and called attention to the elephant in the room: Even the best human swimmers are shitty at swimming compared to penguins. Are human swimmers aware of this evolutionary embarrassment? What can we do to defeat din din in 2020?
- •Google might know this one: Does the word "dominant" dramatically increase in popularity every four years and then go back to never being used?
- •Do female gymnasts wear some kind of cup? Or is that what muscular vjays look like?Asking for a friend...
- •Why do divers shower after each dive?
- •Regarding the long jump: approximately how much sand does a jumper find in and around his or her butt hole later on?And part B: Do professional long jumpers perpetually have sand in their underpants and if so, how does that impact the their lives?
- •Finally my most pressing question about every single sport and athlete is always What?!?? How?!?!?