Calorie-free Diets

  1. Someone else's French fries
  2. A cookie minutes before dinner
  3. Pint of ice cream after you brushed your teeth for the night
  4. Roommate's peanut butter stolen in delicate spoonfuls after you've smoothed the surface back to pre-spoonful appearance
  5. Entire bread basket at dinner after grandma says "you've hardly eaten anything!"
  6. All the frosting on the cake once everyone's left the party
  7. Garlic bread salvaged from the trash after you doused it with dish soap as a stand-in for will power