Things I Wish I Could Say to Customers at Work

I live to serve (more of a rant than a list)
  1. I can tell you're going to tip horribly
  2. AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGE THE HOSTESS WHEN YOU WALK INTO A RESTAURANT WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS WERE YOU RAISED BY WOLVES
  3. Um, no you can't just seat yourself. They don't pay me to stand here and do nothing
  4. Don't bring three huge strollers into a nice sushi restaurant
  5. I can't control how fast people eat their food and when they choose to vacate a table
  6. I quoted you a 15 minute wait because I'm not a psychic and I don't know when people will be done eating
  7. No, I can't give you change. Does it look like I have a cash register up here?
  8. I know what I'm doing even though it may not look like it to you
  9. If I seat you at that table right away, the server will get stressed and will be mad at me and won't give you good service
  10. Let me do my job THANKS