Some Very Sus Things

just some things that I don't really fuck with. either that or I'm just a hater :(
  1. 1.
    pregnant ladies doing extreme workouts
    I just always feel like it can't be safe? also why are you doing ab workouts for 20 minutes when chances are once this baby comes out that six pack you've been working so hard on won't be there. right? And then you'll probably resent the kid, and it'll be a whole thing. I mean maybe I'm wrong, but it just seems like being pregnant should be a 9 month binge eating whateverthefuckyouwant party.
  2. 2.
    those dumb popper things
    you remember those weird fleshy pouches made of some type of explosive material you used to throw on the ground when you were little? if not, bless your parents. seriously. those things should be banned for the sole reason that they sound EXACTLY like gunshots. to the point where the one time i heard actual gunshots, i thought oh, its nothing. its just those poppers. it wasn't and I almost died so...
  3. 3.
    those save the habitat people
    NO I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO STOP AND CHAT ABOUT THE EARTH YES I CARE THAT THERE ARE MANY DYING PLANTS AND ANIMALS AND OUR HABITAT IS IN DANGER BUT IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND COULD YOU JUST COOL IT WITH THE BOXING ME OUT ON THE SIDEWALK I AM TRYING TO GET TO WHERE I AM GOING OH AND ALSO DONT BE A DICK I JUST SAW U ROLLING YOUR EYES
  4. 4.
    people who let their kids go wild on planes
    I asked you really nicely if you could somehow tell your kid to stop kicking my chair. oh he's two? oh that's cute. so I'm guessing you're trying to tell me he is too young to understand what "stop"'means? or is this some new age parenting method where you just let him do whatever he wants? ok now he's crawling under my seat, that's gross no? i mean it's unsanitary for sure. people put their feet there. ok now he's yelling. oh god you're really not going to do anything. now he's kicking again.
  5. 5.
    crossfit / crossfit couples
    my knowledge of crossfit is pretty limited but I did watch the 60 minutes piece on it and from what I gather, it's like a cult but for workout fiends. and look, I work out too. endorphins are sick. but this shit is bed bath and beyond nuts. I also realized recently (while procrastinating) that I'm Facebook friends with quite a few "crossfit couples" who found each other while doing dead lifts. although the idea of her telling people "he had me at 'do you need a spotter'?" is hilarious.
  6. 6.
    spiders
    every time I see one I have to seriously fight the urge to call the cops on a motherfucker. remind me again what purpose you serve other than freaking me the fuck out ??
  7. 7.
    group chats
    sometimes these r ok, most of the time I hate them a lot because I feel left out and want to leave them but if I do I'm that asshole that left the group chat. and no one likes being that guy.
  8. 8.
    e-cigs
    aside from making you look dumb, they cant be good for you. like what is it actually? and I've tried them and subsequently gotten the worst sore throat I've ever had. although I guess cigarettes are probably worse. who knows.
  9. 9.
    Waze
    I really want to like this app so much that I keep using it, even after it seriously fucked me over and told me to take the express lanes on the 105 freeway when I didn't know what the express lanes were or that if you don't have a thingy in your car you're gonna get a ticket. also, why are you making me cross third street there's not even a light here oh my god are you trying to kill me? but to avoid traffic I will totally risk my life right now. oh cool I got a coin thingy. thanks?
  10. 10.
    cats
    as I previously mentioned, I do love and care deeply for all kinds of animals. except for cats. I just can't get onboard. I have really tried but they are just so quiet and sneaky and dirty and the hair is everywhere and why are they not barking? why don't they respond when I call them? I feel like they are that girl at a party who is silently judging you, like eyeing you up and down for hours until you start feeling shitty about yourself and decide to leave. or maybe I've only met asshole cats