GYMS I HAVE BEEN A MEMBER OF IN LA

Rates as flavored of ice cream
  1. Bodybuilders Gym
    Pistachio: vintage, perfect sweetness level, friendly but will leave you alone and remain for long periods in the freezer for a little pick-me-up. A reliable source of happiness and well-being
  2. Gold's Gym
    Peanut butter fudge: too rich in saturated fat eye candy and thus just distracting; infectious body/flavor dysmorphia
  3. 24 Hour Fitness
    Vanilla; a snore and lots of closeted men, toppings required, too lazy to provide and would prefer my flavor all-encompassing
  4. LA Fitness
    Chocolate malted crunch: absolute insanity in your mouth; sweet, crunchy; generally like doing acid at any normal gym. Many treat this place like a Korean spa
  5. Equinox
    Rainbow sherbet; sweet and stimulating but ultimately boring and predictable. Decent for the all-in-one preference spin yogini zumba goddesses