because i prefer not to say what it is
  1. I get paid, not a whole lot but certainly enough to live and occasionally eat at restaurants in the two-to-three dollar sign range on Yelp.
  2. Most days I pack a sandwich in my Star Wars lunchbox but sometimes I forget and buy a sandwich for lunch
  3. My Star Wars lunchbox gets so many comments from strangers when I carry it around that I often wonder if carrying a Star Wars lunchbox around is what it's like to be a woman walking by a construction site
  4. On Thursdays they give us bagels, unless for some reason we have Friday off, then we don't get bagels
  5. I have mini movie posters for The Thing and Repo Man printed out and pinned to the wall in my cubicle
  6. I have an AMC theaters limited G.I. Joe Retaliation cup that I fill with water daily
  7. Coffee is free but it's not very good, the coffee I make at home tastes better. Also I had to bring my own mug from home.
  8. I have a phone at my desk that I have never used for any reason. It rang once but I was too afraid to answer.
  9. I have at least two boxes of Pop Tarts in my desk at all times, and usually a resealable bag of animal crackers.
  10. The underground parking garage with connecting elevators and lack of any windows by my desk make it possible for me to go an entire day without ever actually seeing the sun.
  11. My title (so what my job is?) is "researcher."