THINGS I LEARNED ON CALL THIS WEEKEND

  1. Old people fall and when they do...they break something
  2. If you jump off a balcony you will break something
  3. If you get drunk and try to shoot your foot with a shotgun you will break something
  4. If you drive drunk and fall asleep at the wheel you will break somethjng
  5. I can fix a lot of fractures but I can't fix stupid