REASONS WHY MY DOG AND I ARE THE SAME

She's a mini dachshund named Zooey after Mrs. Deschanel
  1. She's tiny, low to the ground.
    I'm 5'0 so we're basically the same size
  2. We're bubbly and clumsy
  3. We love to take naps
    Together especially
  4. She is a afraid of fat men
    I'm more grossed out. Maybe it's the same thing.
  5. We love passive boys
    And the more feminine, the better!
  6. We love to sniff things
    I sniff her, she sniffs me, it's all good.
  7. She loves to chew
    I chew. I chew. I chew.
  8. We both love small spaces.
    Gives us warmth
  9. I get this feminist vibe from her
  10. She's so cuddly its insane.
    Cuddling is my favorite thing to do.
  11. We both have mental clocks set for 7:10 am
  12. She's a sausage dog
    And I love me a mild Italian sausage
  13. She loves being on people's laps
    I love laps.
  14. She's the best, and so am I. That's why we're perfect for each other
  15. She thinks sneaky but everyone sees
    She "hides" her bone. I "hide" my illegalities
  16. We always put someone else's happiness over our personal desires
    You can see it in her eyes