She's a mini dachshund named Zooey after Mrs. Deschanel
  1. She's tiny, low to the ground.
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    I'm 5'0 so we're basically the same size
  2. We're bubbly and clumsy
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  3. We love to take naps
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    Together especially
  4. She is a afraid of fat men
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    I'm more grossed out. Maybe it's the same thing.
  5. We love passive boys
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    And the more feminine, the better!
  6. We love to sniff things
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    I sniff her, she sniffs me, it's all good.
  7. She loves to chew
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    I chew. I chew. I chew.
  8. We both love small spaces.
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    Gives us warmth
  9. I get this feminist vibe from her
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  10. She's so cuddly its insane.
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    Cuddling is my favorite thing to do.
  11. We both have mental clocks set for 7:10 am
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  12. She's a sausage dog
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    And I love me a mild Italian sausage
  13. She loves being on people's laps
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    I love laps.
  14. She's the best, and so am I. That's why we're perfect for each other
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  15. She thinks sneaky but everyone sees
    She "hides" her bone. I "hide" my illegalities
  16. We always put someone else's happiness over our personal desires
    You can see it in her eyes