DUMB WAYS TO DIE

Squad edition
  1. Trips up stairs.
    Dies of embarrassment.
  2. Stays up til 4am and must wake up at 7am.
    Dies of exhaustion.
  3. Spends too long writing on @AliciaNF26's whiteboard.
    Dies from marker fumes.
  4. Is lactose intolerant but just wants to marry ice cream.
    Dies of gastrointestinal distress.
  5. Must walk up the mountain to the parking lot.
    Dies of muscle cramps.
  6. Begins to understand Tajik.
    Dies of annoyance with @miathurber.
  7. Shovels car out of gigantic snow drifts.
    Dies of hypothermia.
  8. Gets an A-.
    Dies of disappointment.
  9. Is noticed by a clark.
    Dies of feels.
  10. @AliciaNF26's free trial of @miathurber's friendship has ended, and @AliciaNF26 refuses to begin monthly payments.
    @miathurber dies of loneliness.