There's Been a Lot Going on Lately.
I'm not trying to whine. I'm just trying to organize my thoughts. Don't read if you don't want a damper on your day.
- •Both my parents are currently unemployed because of the recent shift in the oil and gas industry. They used to work for an oil company and have been laid off for a few months now. My family isn't well off by any means and we have faced many a financial struggle, but I don't know what it is about this time?
- •My mom and dad seem to be facing a lot more friction between them by something relatively small compared to the many other things that they both stuck out through. I'm not sure how to help but my interference, or my brother's, has been of no help so far.
- •Which leads me to think that I don't really understand marriage. That is a taboo thing for someone to say if they're scheduled to get married within the next 300 days, right? My parents going through what they are and behaving the way they are is concerning me regarding how two people can change over time.
- •I know Shravan and I love each other, and I know that every couple who took the leap of faith and got married also had no idea what was in store for them. But that doesn't change the fact that I can't help but feel like my family has this all wrong? I mean your daughter is scheduled to get married and this is the "example" you're setting?
- •Which then leads me to the whole wedding thing. I know that in the western culture, it is accepted and even appreciated that the wedding is mainly about the couple. In most other cultures, especially Asian, this mentality is looked down upon. I am being "selfish" and "careless" if I am not willing to compromise on what I truly want.
- •So wedding planning has been super difficult because I'm always having to negotiate with everyone involved about every little detail and it has become cumbersome to say the least. Growing up in America but being raised in the Indian culture, I am torn between the two mindsets and can't help but feel a little lost to be honest.
- •And then there's school. My fiancé is originally from India and he is applying to come to school here. Ideally, it would help if he came before the wedding because of status issues. There's much higher scope of having our marriage being labeled a "green card marriage" if we wait till we are married, although that would be a much cheaper option.
- •I'm not an American citizen yet; I only have a green card. And right now, the process of going through the spouse sponsorship through my green card needs an average of 2.5-3 years. In short, I don't want to spend my first years, the most crucial years, apart from each other.
- •I can't move back to India because I will lose my green card status if I don't live here 6 out of the 12 calendar months every year. I also cannot be earning in Indian rupees and paying back student loans in dollars, due to the poor conversion rates. And since I'm a non-resident Indian, finding a job there wouldn't be easy anyway.
- •Then, there's my brother. He has had a rough patch in his romantic life. He broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years a couple years ago, and tried to get back into the dating game and had his heart broken repeatedly. This weekend, he found out the girl he has been talking to has been leading him on, as well as multiple other men. My heart breaks.
- •So Shravan applied to colleges here. So far, we heard bad news from our top two choices. It's really discouraging and coupled with everything else in my head, honestly a little scary. A lot scary.
- •I'm just trying to keep my head up and basically hit dead ends with every issue listed here and am currently unsure of what to do with myself. But listing helps...