TO THE GIRL WHO DATES MY GUY BEST FRIEND
Holy shit I wrote this a long time ago and 💔
- •I will hate you but ultimately love you.If he picked you, you must be great.
- •Please don't hate or resent meI was here first and I'm not going anywhere. I promise not to have that attitude though, as he never has with my boyfriends, shockingly.
- •I realize you have the power to change he and I's relationship. It's going to change without you trying to change it, so just sit back and I promise I won't do anything to harm you. If he loves you.
- •Go to coffee shops with him and read. Don't interrupt him a lot, but don't be too quiet.Asking him questions about your book or raising intellectual arguments will only make him love you more. Distracting him too much will annoy him but that won't make him stop loving you because he's amazing.
- •Stretch him, but go slowly.He hates trying new things but he does make a conscious effort to force himself to on a regular basis. Growth is important to him. This is what I love about him and so should you. Keep this in mind when you want to introduce new things into his life. Do it slowly and with intention. Forget the beach, though, I fuckin' give up. Never back down on YOUR things though! He likes strong women! Even if he didn't screw him, be you, girl.
- •He says he's not a "family person" but he 💯 isHe loves that emoji, by the way. Anyway, he has this weird image of what a "family person" is, so he doesn't count himself as one. Or maybe it's a defense mechanism so he doesn't miss them as much--I haven't figured it out yet (& I love it) but either way, he is very much a family person and loves them deeply. Win them over at all costs. Text Christine. Don't fall in love with Levi (tough one). Eat healthy around Lisa. Laugh with Larry. Try to remember all the cousins' names. You got this.
- •Emotions: Be. Straight. Forward.He will talk about his feelings with you until the cows come home. But you have to be direct. He is not one for subtle and he will never (in my experience, but LET'S FUCKIN' TALK GIRL) approach you to talk about feelings, even when he's experiencing them. He will sit and stew, he will think, he will plan. So YOU have to talk to get things done, and then they will get done. Maybe this will change over time.
- •Sex.Tell him what you want. Tell him what you like. He is a sponge and wants literally, actually nothing more than to make you happy. He still thinks girls are a giant mystery. It's adorable and I'm waiting for the mist to clear and kind of never want it to (but you will haha). He is very sexy when he has no idea he's being sexy. I'm sure you already know this. Let's never talk about this subject, actually, even if I ask. I promise I can't take it.
- •Friendships with women.He is a feminist. Full-heartedly, without questions. He has had more friendships with women than most men I know. Ours, is one of two exceptions (you know the other by now). We are platonic now. But please don't assume that any other relationships in his life that he develops with women can't and won't be platonic because of any past behavior-that's not how it works and he is loyal. Trust him.
- •He listens.If he hurts your feelings, if something bothers you, if you like something, he listens.
- •He compliments.
- •He tends to bottle-up his feelings.I hope this point has changed, because if you're reading this, a lot has ❤️
- •This is probably a tough transition for me, and I hope you can see it through the lens of a compassionate woman and not a jealous girlfriend.
- •Let's be best friends 👯💓